Ep8 The What If Prison: How High-Achievers Kill Their Own Dreams

Joe Blackburn  0:00  
I want to help people take that narrow view of possibility and make it bigger. But if you what, if yourself to death, you just stay right here, I'd say my secret sauce is getting people to do stuff they never thought they could do. And that's happening if it's a status thing. You're you're focused on the wrong status. You're focused on what the people you're leaving behind are thinking versus where I'm going. If you do something that creates real value, that took a ton of risk, your status goes through the roof, and if you don't make it, so what?

Jason Croft  0:32  
Welcome to the lion's edge, where top performers sharpen their teeth, hosted by Joe Blackburn, founder of The Lion who is relentlessly dedicated to helping business owners lead multi million dollar teams and me, Jason Croft, I transform unseen entrepreneurs into industry leaders by developing their market gravity. Each week, we reveal proven strategies and raw insights to help you maximize your business, multiply your wealth and make your family indestructible. Now let's create your edge.

Joe Blackburn  1:10  
This one always bugs me, by the way, just because the way we even talked about it in mindset, I think two weeks ago or week ago or whatever, I think if people made like, a small shift. It's small if they went from all the what ifs so like, what if this happens? What if this happens? What if the worst case scenario happens? What? What multi What if, for those of you in the planning world to even if, I mean the the worst case doesn't happen very often. It just doesn't. I mean, I'm not saying be an idiot, but like, does the worst case scenario often happen? How much time do you spend running, running from it? It's just I, when I talk to people, it's they, and it's normal, they immediately go to, well, what if this happens? What? What if my, you know, spouse, isn't all in, what if I can't go to my kid's soccer game? What if, you know, it's all the what ifs, what if my, you know, my team doesn't want to do this, it's all what ifs, well, if you just changed it to even if, even if they didn't want to, like, that's, there's, like, a, I don't know if you saw my face, because I'm kind of a badass, but that's kind of a violence in my belief, right? Like, even if, like, what, what do I care if I want to do something,

Jason Croft  2:27  
if, Where's this coming up? Give me, give me context of, like, when, when this is coming. Because I know a general worry happens with folks, and it's, it's kind of a weird thing to me, and I hear about it and maybe hear it from other people. But I, I guess I don't know. I don't know if I'm not wired that way. I don't know if I've I don't sit around in that space. Maybe I sit around too much in possibility and in taking action. I think my creative juices go that way, and a lot of people's creative juices go into like, well, what if this horrible thing happened? So like you're mentioning, give me context where, where you're encountering that, though, when it comes up,

Joe Blackburn  3:07  
well, in a real positive way, even in the last month, we've had people that made big leaps in new businesses, new locations, new hires, all the things you would sit around and question as a leader, and go ahead and do it. And my in my question my head, is why? I mean, if it's what you want, why even spend the time like, why worry about the rest of it? Just do it like, that's what you want. So let's say, let's say you. And we had a shout out to rich, so he left his company and went to another company, and there's some legal stuff involved, and it was like, well, they're probably gonna do something litigious. And he did it, even if they do, I'm going even if, even if I have to sit on the sideline for a month, I'm still going like, this is what I want to do. This is what I want to do with my life, even if, and not very many people do that, that takes huge balls. So sorry, I don't know if this is gonna be posted or something, but, you know, I mean, it takes a lot of guts to do things, even if, you know there's a possibility something could work against you. And I, I see it, you see a difference in there's a lot of people that have the even if, I mean, hell, Sam, you know, the most vicious line of them all, had his freaking store burned down next to him. They couldn't even work out their store. Wow. And it was like, even if we can't use the location, we're gonna pay the bills, pay the people pay ourselves. I mean, it's so you see that what? But that's in my mind, often an anomaly. Most people, what if themselves to where I'm just gonna, I'm gonna stick where I'm at. I'm good here, because that, what if, holds me back. And we probably talk about this too much, it just, I. It seems weird to me, like, I

Jason Croft  5:01  
Where is it coming up, though, in terms of, like, taking any step forward or any change at all? Is that where you're where you're seeing

Joe Blackburn  5:08  
it? Well, it's about anything that would cause pain. It's a pretty broad spectrum.

Jason Croft  5:15  
I I think being in business at all,

Joe Blackburn  5:18  
yeah. I mean, if you want to live that's an even if, or what if I, I don't know, I just, I see it in diff, I guess I see it in different places. Probably the most common is when I do fit calls or when we see if what we do something you like. I can hear that multi what if? Well, what if I don't do the work? What if, you know, I put money into myself and it doesn't work out. Or what just I can feel like it's like a checklist of, well, what if this happens? What if this happens? What if this happens? Instead of even if all that stuff happens, I'm gonna hit my goal faster with less pain. And if you own a business, and you look at the world like measuring worst case scenario all the time. It's it's either just think it's like, creates a lot of friction. And the reality is, it rarely happens. And we've had some people that have come this close recently, this close to it all being over, and they just wouldn't give up. And so I don't know. Have you ever seen the worst case scenario in someone's business really come to fruition? I've seen them quit and go insolvent or into bankruptcy. I have seen that where they but that is different. They just are like, I'm just gonna watch this thing fall off a cliff. That's different. But if they're doing, you know, the the one on ones consistently done in their business, will take them through a valley. It's just, can they handle it? And I think what happens is people get up there and look, and they're like, Yeah, I'm not doing that. Too much, too too much risk, too much. And I I also think it's risk of being embarrassed more than anything.

Jason Croft  7:05  
Oh, yeah, I think that's more than anything at all, because even when you do, if you do press like, okay, even if that happens like you're saying, it's not that bad. And you can walk somebody through that, but it is more of an identity thing, and it's, I mean, we're all at some level of trying to figure out status right in our world, in the in the larger world, and that risks that when they Come into something that could take them forward, but it's almost certainly going to be harder. It's they're in shaky ground for a little bit. That status pressure

Joe Blackburn  7:51  
comes from below. No one who's done something big, you know, takes a crap on someone who risked something they because they didn't get like, they didn't get to where they're at without doing it. So they know they like. So if you're, if it's a status thing, you're you're focused on the wrong status. You're focused on what the people you're leaving behind are thinking versus where I'm going. You know, if, if you do something that's out of the ordinary, that would be called extraordinary, or you do something that creates real value, that took a ton of risk, your status goes through the roof, and if you don't make it, let's say you bomb. So what I I tell I say this because I'm I'm big on positivity. I say this all the time. No one likes you and no one cares. That's how. I mean, does that feel good? They don't.

Jason Croft  8:44  
It should because, because it's a relief. Like, if you really let that in, like,

Joe Blackburn  8:49  
I know, sitting around, I mean, yeah, they'll take their shot at you, because it makes them feel better. But sitting around thinking that stuff, they're worried about their own world and what's going on in it, they don't. It's just not how it works. And I it's on the internet all the time, and I hear it in different ways. As you go up, you give up and you get lonely, or whatever it is. I mean, we have I mean, as you ascend, there's less people. I just it's a mathematics. It's not because it's only at the top. It's because there's not very many of them,

Jason Croft  9:22  
especially when you're talking about having that call with someone, this could be for anybody trying to enroll anybody into what you're doing, selling them a service, bringing them into the lion, whatever that is. I mean, that's kind of why you have those fit calls, as you talked about, is there a point where you shift from answering those what ifs to Okay? This is where your head is, and this is where your energy. Is, you know what? You're right. It's not gonna work.

Joe Blackburn  10:02  
Yeah, I'm pretty quick on that. Now, if someone has to there are, I call them digesters. If you ever met a digester, sometimes in they're out there. I don't know if you've met them, but I'll let them digest it. It's just, it's not even, it's not even that. It's right or wrong. It just, I don't think it's real. I think it's a false sense of reality.

Jason Croft  10:29  
By just going into that, what if, yeah, I think you've

Joe Blackburn  10:32  
now created a multiverse. I'm gonna start using big words, more multiverse, of these what ifs, and then, then your parent, it's, it's not paralyzed, not the right word. You're still functioning where you are and probably doing okay. It just, I don't know, maybe I just see it a different in a different light, because it's what we do all day. I just, in my mind, I'm like, that's not even a bit. It's not real. It's not a concern. It's if you decide to do something and you do all the things we're talking about, you'll do it like that's, yeah, has this been helpful, or is it just me rambling?

Jason Croft  11:16  
Well, I think there's a, I mean, there's a rant component, of course, but I think it's an important rant to have this in here. And again, it's, it's a weird thing to me. It's the same weirdness to me, though, that is the person who puts that blame outward right, instead of taking ownership the whatever is going on and in control. I think it's in that same camp. They're definitely cousins, right? If not brother and sisters, yeah, and I think it's that same mentality. It's just it's an oddity to me for whatever reason, right? Whether I learned that early on. I happen to be raised with that, whatever that is, both of these things are just an oddity, oddity to me, of sitting in that, oh, I don't want to do that, because this could happen, because and that could happen. I've got my own I got plenty of my own stuff that holds me back, and I don't do stuff.

Joe Blackburn  12:20  
Well, that's everyone does. It's normal. How

Jason Croft  12:24  
do we combat that from an individual? Hey, I want to shift from this, and how do we combat it in people we surround ourselves with? I guess that's the useful part here.

Joe Blackburn  12:35  
I mean, the lion helps, because you've got other you've got other people doing it right in front of you, or have just recently done it, so it's it gives you more certainty. Have you heard of AI? Have you heard of this new thing? It's called AI? Maybe, maybe yes, some heard of it. I, I think people that don't find a way to separate themselves out somehow from what AI is capable of? Are going to get blindsided? I heard we'd be in singularity in 20 years, meaning brain and AI, it's probably 10. So in my, in my mind, I'm like, if you just keep So, if I because I just do planning or whatever, you know, like longevity, am I going out live my money type thing? But if you keep doing what you're doing, and you don't start doing some things that are out of the ordinary or changing, I I think there's, I don't know, maybe I'm being fear mongered. It's probably. STK, she keeps posting about AI, and it's scaring me, but, yeah, I just think there's a it's like a freight train. In my mind. It's like, why would you you got to do something. Where are you going to, you know, if you're, if you're an old gentleman like myself on turn 50. I mean, if you're even at 50, you're not old anymore. Just tell yourself that, Jason, I'm not old because I'm in my 50s, but you're not old anymore. So if that's true, and I keep doing what I'm doing, and the entire universe is changing, there's, I mean, there's an intersection in my and I just, I don't know, this is probably going nowhere. I

Jason Croft  14:20  
Well, it's it's both, it's both sides, though, right? There's the because where you're going with that and talking about AI, you've got to differentiate yourself. You've got to bring in that human element, in that charisma and that connection, that human connection at the same time, where I see way too much of it going on in that mentality that you were just talking about that what if is well, what if, you know, AI destroys us, and

Joe Blackburn  14:47  
what if it does it well, here I'm doing it myself. I'm a hypocrite. Thank you.

Jason Croft  14:52  
That's really what I wanted to point out. That's exactly

Joe Blackburn  14:55  
what, but it was well done. No, but it's

Jason Croft  14:59  
that. So I think it's, it's important to be on that middle part of it, because both sides are ridiculous, right? Like to not put yourself out there and find those ways to differentiate yourself. It's also insane not to use it. It's phenomenal, right? Like it's both of those things. I

Joe Blackburn  15:18  
don't dislike it. So going, I mean, back to the core of the issue. I think it's more about being real to yourself in if you want something, do it as fast as humanly possible, so that if those bad things you think about are gonna happen, it doesn't matter when I and I told this story 600 times so everyone's sick of hearing it, and no one cares. Like I said, No one likes you. No one cares when I took a leap out of what was normal to me, you know, like the corporate life and i i I felt like I busted my ass to get to where I got. It's not it was great or anything, but, you know, the sacrifices, the climbing ladder, all those different things, and then leapt out of that. I think that has had an impact on me, where it just seems like you when you're in that and you think that's all there is. I just see it as there's, there's everything else, and people that just want to, like, it's like, stay in your lane or something. And I don't know it just, can you tell this bothers me? And should it? Should it even bother me? I don't know, man, I just, I want to I want to help people. I want to help people take that narrow view of possibility and make it bigger. But if you what, if yourself to death, you just stay right here and that that could be in any area of your I mean, I don't know that could be in any area of your life. That could be any of it. It just, I don't know

Jason Croft  17:01  
well, and I think that's a good, good point, too. Sometimes it is that leap of faith and you've got to just go. But any it doesn't have to be a massive thing, like you leaving Merrill and launching your thing. It doesn't necessarily even have to be that massive. It can be a small action in that direction. You want to build evidence. It can. It could be a series of steps, yeah, and again, like, whether it's the lion or, you know, a group of at your local chamber that you get together with, with the right mindset, whatever that is, the hat to also surround yourself with what's possible. And just the who's who show you what's possible, that's a big deal. And we all need that in various degrees. I don't sit around going, well, what if this happens? What is this? But I also need help still expanding, seeing what's, Oh, that's right, that's bigger as possible. Getting further down the road is possible, and those are important things. And I think, again, I think this goes into that bucket of, yeah, there's a little bit of a ramp. This is also really important to, like, shake some folks too. I mean, we often talk about things that are coming up and you're seeing in the lion and it sounds like this is more people you've talked to, talking talking to them about potentially being in the one do you see this much in these folks who are in here? Is it pop up in these little ways? I would imagine it's not, maybe

Joe Blackburn  18:36  
even if, is much shorter, well, I mean, and that isn't, I mean, I'm great. We say this all the time. Let's just level set greatness Exactly. It's understood, right? But if I'm by myself in the what if? What I mean, I'm just, you know, I've got the circus going on. So if I have someone speak directly to me about what is possible, even if. And then I see a bunch of people do it, and then I hot seat it and talk about it. That gives me, you know, they're what they're really saying is, I want more certainty to do this. I want more, you know, solid ground to make it. And that helps, because you had a good point, you don't have to go across the canyon, but you do have to take the steps. So I would say, we see it faster, and we've see it more frequently now, because more people are doing it so well, you know, if they can do it, I can do it. So we're, we are, you know, I, I'd say my secret sauce is getting people to do stuff they never thought they could do. And that's happening faster, which is part of being it's part of the what you put together. It's like speed is an element. Money is. Attracted to speed, speed wins. Speed subtract, you know, all those things. So just and what they find out, by the way, it wasn't that bad, you know what? It didn't ruin me.

Jason Croft  20:14  
Yeah, even on those rare occasions that this crazy, creative, what if actually happened? Oh, cool. That's done. And I think that goes to that speed element. And getting better element that you're talking about too, is that almost, almost talking to somebody, having them. Let that in. Cool. Let's just assume that's going to happen. The worst thing that you possibly let's just assume that's going to happen. So what do we do to get you ready for that, right? What do you have to do to protect yourself from that and still move forward?

Joe Blackburn  20:52  
Probably the same damn steps they were going to do. Yeah,

Jason Croft  20:57  
yeah. That's what I mean. So when you build that up, maybe that's the antidote to somebody who's just stuck in that little bit like, cool. Okay, that's gonna happen. Now, if that's gonna happen, let's get you moving so fast that you just blast your way through that.

Joe Blackburn  21:17  
Okay, feel better. I somewhat

Jason Croft  21:23  
that's what's important here,

Joe Blackburn  21:24  
that I mean. But as long as I feel better and you're still here, I think we're in good shape.

Jason Croft  21:29  
Here you go. All right, lions, there's your edge.

Jason Croft  21:34  
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Speaker 2  22:09  
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