Ep13 Permission to Succeed (And Why Most People Will Never Get It)

Joe Blackburn  0:00  
Every day you put it off the old you survives, and it's weaker, the weaker version of yourself. Every day, it doesn't matter what it is, Lion whatever. Every day you put something off, you've allowed a weaker person to survive like he didn't die. So you survived another day where you are. That's slow death, by the way.

Jason Croft  0:18  
Welcome to the lion's edge, where top performers sharpen their teeth, hosted by Joe Blackburn, founder of The Lion, who is relentlessly dedicated to helping business owners lead multi million dollar teams and me. Jason Croft, I transform unseen entrepreneurs into industry leaders by developing their market gravity. Each week, we reveal proven strategies and raw insights to help you maximize your business, multiply your wealth and make your family indestructible. Now let's create your edge.

Joe Blackburn  0:55  
This is becoming my venting session. I don't know if you've caught that. It's

Jason Croft  0:59  
good, it's fun, though it's entertaining your your pain is entertaining for everyone else. I like what's coming up right now is the fact that you're seeing so many people need permission to be successful. I love the way you phrase that, because there's a spectrum, for sure, but we all kind of have that version of that, and if we're in a relationship, maybe it's controlling, maybe it's the spouse is just unsure of their own world. Maybe that's where some of that comes from, and we want to be a good spouse, be there for them. But how do we compartmentalize these things and communicate that so that we can go do what we're amazing at full force, right?

Joe Blackburn  1:55  
Well, I in it on the other end of that, as I say it out loud, and on the other end of the spectrum, I can, you know when I look at the line, the people in the lion that are there, they have huge support. And we encourage spouses to be there, especially an in person. And some of them are in the school. They're more active than anyone. They're the biggest supporter of what's, you know, being done on the business side, on the wealth side. I mean, I can start rattling, you know, Cassie Cook, Gary's wife, we did our thing out there. I mean, she was painting rooms, and like, you know, you would have thought the President was showing up, and she's not heavily involved in any of the other stuff, but when he was gonna host the lions, it was like, we're rolling out the red carpet. I mean, hell, even in the meeting, you know, I call it key, you know, Holly Erica master pero, I mean, just like they got someone on their side that's like, you're doing this, like you're gonna do it, and I'm gonna be right here in your ear, you know, holding down the fort doing what needs to be done. I mean, it was just that. That's what I like to see. Is when you've got that person, your partner, and you know, not as your partner in life, that your partner in crime, that's just like, whatever it takes, we're gonna do this. And I'm all in and I, you know, that's pretty much what's driven I want. I want the spouses there so they see it, they feel it, they understand it, like the environment, the super conscious, all those things it does. It's not required, you know. And quite frankly, I don't have Susan there. She's holding she's holding down the fort with five kids. And I don't like being away three and four days. I get homesick. I get, you know, I text her yesterday, like, I get nerve wracked at like, day two, of her not being around, which maybe I'm just a baby, but it's possible that I just, but you've got to have that. It's, well, I don't know, it's a must, but it's a lot harder when you don't have that. Because when you're doing stuff in the business world and accumulating wealth, whatever it is, that's a battle like, you know, we talk about waking up on the battlefield, and if it's a battle there and in your you know, your sanctuary and your privacy and your home, that's really tough, and I know some people struggle with it. And I'm not a marriage counselor. I always I am not a marriage counselor by any means. Like I got lucky. I got a gift from, you know, heaven that someone saved my life. And now I was like, Okay, now you do your thing, you got to get going so

Jason Croft  4:43  
well. And that's the that's the piece. It's like finding that dynamic that works for you and your spouse. It's not that one spouse works, the other one holds down the fort Ness. It's not that dynamic. It's that. Or you're each doing what is required to move this whole thing forward, whole thing meaning business plus family. I mean, the spouse may have their own business endeavor or their own projects do, yeah, and so you come together and go, Okay, what resources do we need to make this work and balance all that out, because it is the tiniest problem at home. It sucks way more energy than the size of that problem. Just mentally, I never send you away, because we care, because we were married to these folks, for a reason, we have these amazing kids, and when something is off there, it's just distracting and pulling so I think there's both being strong. I mean, it's why one of the tag lines with the line make your family indestructible. This isn't not just financially, but being a unit, coming together and doing that. And there is, there's, there's times for, hey, let's get together and solve this. And there's also time for this is going on. There's zero I can do about it in this minute. And I've got to compartmentalize. I've got to shift over to this. Have you found help, secrets, ways of doing that?

Joe Blackburn  6:30  
Being transactional is not good. If I do this, you do that. I mean, I think I don't know. I've made it 21 years, I think, and by the skin of my teeth, because sometimes you get in that mindset. Well, I did all this stuff. Why didn't you know, what are you doing? I don't think that's smart. And, you know, it's funny. I heard this. I don't remember who said, It's been a while. Do you want to be right, or do you want to be in love? You know which one's more important to you? I think some people get that Justice meter out. I may have. And so, you know, I want to be right instead of be in love, I I, I would say I'd rather be in love. And you know, if I'm not, if I'm not there, and have to deal with the fallout of things. Why do why does it matter? Why? Why is me like knowing and I get sucked into that where I think I have a better idea most of the time I don't. So this maybe, you know, let the other person run with their strengths and support it, versus judge it or score it, things like that,

Jason Croft  7:43  
some of the same skills as being good employer, right? Yeah, well, it's like relationship skills, right? Yeah. I mean, it's, and that's, I think it comes down to over and over and over again. Each problem that comes up comes down to talk it out. Hey, as soon as you get that little pink get out of like, I'm best mode and go in. Like, look, I'm really frustrated. I probably have zero right to be frustrated, but I just am. And here's why, here's what's coming up. I mean, at the core of all of it, with both spouses doing that more, my goodness, does that lead to so much better? Oh, yeah, better harmony.

Joe Blackburn  8:26  
Yes. Harmony is a good word. I mean, you know, you can't let it be a free for all at home, but you probably get I find myself doing this. I get more irritated by little things that mean nothing. So I think we had this conversation, like, three weeks ago. I am working on my calm. I actually got complimented at our in person that I seem more calm, and I so that was, that was nice. I mean, yeah, yeah, I was

Jason Croft  8:53  
because the extreme was so bad that just you're down to normal and, like, this is amazing.

Joe Blackburn  8:58  
Well, we once had one in in Utah, and there were on second floor, and there was mud on the windows. So someone had, like, you know, it was the desert, so it was, like, sprayed. And I was, I walked in that room, and it like, I was in I'm like, How is there mud on these windows? We're looking out the window. There's mud on the windows. Instead of focusing on, like, 20 people in the room, or whatever. Of course, I'm like, and they remind me, well, at least, you know, Ryan merit to be like, there's not mud on the windows. So that's like, you know, could be worse. But, I mean, in that training, you know, I guess we're talking in circles around I think if you can start to not get so focused on the little things in any endeavor, it's better, and probably makes life easier for those that are have to be around you. And you know it is, I mean, you carry it's not like a switch. You can't turn it off and walk in the house and be like, Oh, I'm perfect right now. I mean, sometimes a deacon, you know, a decompression helps. We you know. Moved into our new house, and I've got 10 extra minutes to get home, and that it's a little buffer, I mean, on some quiet time and just kind of like, All right, let's you know,

Jason Croft  10:10  
I found that was always a big deal to me when I I took that time right and was purposeful. It wasn't just going home in the same state it was. It's transition time, right? I am entering another role in like, even if it is 10 extra minutes, it's sitting in the car somewhere, 10 extra just thinking about nothing, just in in life, yeah, and you're just go, go, go, go, go. Between meetings, between this, between tasks. If you can find that, I don't know personally, I just need that, like, Okay, I'm doing something different. Now, there's a different energy to that, for sure. I

Joe Blackburn  10:54  
think there's a science around the it's like 4515 if you have 15 minutes in between, you can kind of rearrange. You know, the nice benefit I have now, though, is, when I come to go home, I go over what's called the pass. It's the outlet, inlet, or outlet, to the Gulf of America. I call it the ocean, but down here I get reprimanded if I say the ocean, because apparently it's the Gulf. But you come up over this and like it is there you breathe different, like, it's a different just, kind of, like, the vastness of it just kind of overtakes you. So that's pretty cool. That's cool. That's a, you know, it's a momentary lapse reality where you realize how minuscule you are in the grand scheme. Helps, helps with my humility, but it's cool. But

Jason Croft  11:46  
even back to this idea to kind of what, what prompted a lot of this was this thought of needing permission to be successful in something, and that's, that's the piece. I mean, we bring in sort of the spouse aspect, but there are plenty of decisions like that that these are big decisions. Yeah, right, maybe even what you do on the weekends if you're not in a relationship or something. But those can have big consequences, good and bad in your business, and where your energy goes and flows and it's and then there's also just this mentality, if you're in a relationship of it's a big difference between I need my spouse's permission To do this to be successful, to go into this group, to do whatever, and hey, I I want to include my spouse. That's a that's a big different, different difference there I feel like in life, spouse or not, when you're sitting around waiting for permission to go fully be what you intend to be. There's that needs to get fixed before anything else is going to happen.

Joe Blackburn  13:13  
Well, and when you talk about decisions, most people, you know, when they look they want evidence or results. Then they want to, you know, bring in the belief around that, then that they try to change who, like, you know, whatever they have to do internally, like identity, and then they want to make a decision. So it's like all those things leading up to it are what keep you where you are. Instead of make the decision, believe become it, then you'll get results. It's like the polar opposite of how we normally, you know, would normally go about something. So make the decision first, then belief will come that will change who you are. Then you'll see the results. And if you do it that way, you'll move through life faster, with less speed bumps and less heartache, versus always trying to, you know, it's faith. I mean, it's, I think it's a definition of faith, like you have to see it before it happens. So if I, you know, decide I'm going to do this, and my belief system changes around I, I am going to do this, I don't hope, hope. You know, that's another outlawed word. I'm working on Hope's not strategy. There's only hope and salvation. It's only hope is salvation. Then your identity, then you'll see results. And I think people, and from what I can tell, people have it backwards. It's it. There's an old, you know, saying around it, that's poverty of identity. I keep my identity poor, and it takes me forever to do something or to accomplish something, because I'm putting all that in front of the. Decision to make a change. So like, for example, if you were gonna decide you were gonna be in the lion, you become the evidence that, not, you know, I can show you evidence all day long. I mean, there's 30 people in there that would attest. Probably have some of those on here sometime. But you become the evidence, not Show me the evidence. Then I'll believe it, then I'll make the necessary changes, then I'll decide to do something. It's like a reversal of decision. And by the way, going back to the relationship aspect, if the person that you know you at least want to confide in or discuss it with thinks that same way. Now you're real slow, because not only do you have to take action, decide now you have to have them at least buy in or say, go for it. Otherwise, now you're training, doing two transformations. So and that's again, I I posted this this morning. I mean, we were installed with doubt and fear, like it was in like, you know, AI is a hot term, so I like to use computer terms now, because it's cool. But you, you, you weren't. You were born with you weren't born with it. You, it was installed in you. All the doubts, all the fears you have were a product of, you know, someone in or the environment, or the whatever has been installed in you. So you have to uninstall that quickly. And the best way to do it is make the decision, then the other steps. That's how I mean, you know, and shout out to Sam Thomas. He wasn't installed with it. He just decides, and, you know, with little education or any training or anything, he moves faster than everybody. Wow. That's why he outperforms him. So it's, it's interesting to see. And you and I'm not, you know, I had a perspective line. We were talking the other day, and he was talking about education, like the education system. And, I mean, you have to have it. However it is. You know, education by design, is meant to uniform what you do and calibrate a 25 or 30 person classroom. So those decision makers usually get pulled back for about 12 years. So that's interesting. Now we go on a diatribe on that, but I'm just saying when I see it, it's all those things I talked about, then decide versus decide it, believe it, become it. Then you harvest

Jason Croft  17:49  
right? Because even if there is something holding you back, you don't know what that is, you don't move faster. But just deciding I'm going to be this person now, where do I find those resources. How do I? How do I break through some of that, let go of those installed identities that are fear based and hold you back. And that's the thing. Like, as we decide who we want to work with, as clients, as line members, whatever. I think that's just I think it's okay. I think it's more than okay. I think it's important to

Joe Blackburn  18:29  
make

Jason Croft  18:31  
some of those things a requirement, a filter for who you're working with. How fast do they move? How are you jumping in? How are you going to move with this? Rather than convince, convince, to convince second cousins and all of that that they need to know that you should

Joe Blackburn  18:53  
do. Everybody's buy in, back in the relationships. Well, I text somebody yesterday that's kind of dragging. You know, every day you put it off, the old you survives, and it's weaker, the weaker version of yourself. Every day, it doesn't matter what it is, Lion whatever. Every day you put something off, you've allowed a weaker person to survive like he didn't die. So you survived another day where you are, that's slow death, by the way. So, you know it, it has a way of luring you into, we've talked about a lot, the complacency of, I'm okay, being okay, and it, you know, I kind of get the charge of being judgmental. It's just when you can see that it's not a big thing to change. It's this, the decision just start differently and then change your identity, kill your old self. Because, as we talk about in the experiment, my old self showed back up. The old self shows. Up every I posted. I learned posts on social media instead of just in school, maybe. But you know, you're your old self shows up every morning. That's the first thing that shows up, is the old you. And if you don't go to war with that, you stay where you are. And maybe that's okay for some people. It's not for me, it's not for them. I know that they're not. No one wants to stay where they are.

Jason Croft  20:23  
Well, that's the piece too. Of all of this, it's not a matter of you need to make a decision. You need to be this way so you're in the line. No, you just need to make a decision, right? Whether you're going to do this, whether you're going to start a new business, whether you're going to go after that next client. If the answer is no, awesome, and if it's like, oh no, something comes across, this doesn't resonate with me, boom, onto the next great. But if you feel that pull, or you have that creative urge, I'd really something's telling me I need to start this newsletter or doing this thing, and you don't do it. That's when that weaker version of you that you mentioned is showing up. It's not because you're not doing that specific thing. It's because you're not doing the thing that's your inner self is pulling you

Joe Blackburn  21:11  
to, yeah, you're just beating the doubt and fear. You're making it stronger. So we're, we are in the line. That's, I mean, we're attacking that. And we got a lot of people doing it daily. So more to come on now. I mean, I It's interesting. I had, you know, we do the Leadership Academy and sales assassins, four people in the lions, one of our leadership academy people made a comment. And it's only been two weeks since we started really digging into this, especially in the morning, the difference they saw in their leader. So we'll see, see how that turned out. Awesome. All right.

Jason Croft  21:56  
All right. There's your edge. That's all I got. You've just experienced the lion's edge. If this episode lit a fire, if you're ready to push past your current ceiling, there's more waiting for you. Want to see what it takes to become a member of the Lion, visit jointhelion.com to discover how successful entrepreneurs become unstoppable forces and make sure you never miss an episode by hitting subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. This isn't just content. This is your edge.

Speaker 1  22:35  
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