Ep10 When Trying Too Hard Burns Down Your Business (And How to Stop Creating Your Own Fires)

Joe Blackburn  0:00  
It's not that you shouldn't take massive action. It's just trying so hard starts to work against you, because, you know, when you're a try hard, that's what people take away. So it's weird. It's like, I don't want someone who's lazy, but if you're trying so hard to do something, I think people feel like the words are the words you're trying too hard.

Jason Croft  0:20  
Welcome to the lion's edge, where top performers sharpen their teeth. Hosted by Joe Blackburn, founder of The Lion who is relentlessly dedicated to helping business owners lead multi million dollar teams and me. Jason Croft, I transform unseen entrepreneurs into industry leaders by developing their market gravity. Each week, we reveal proven strategies and raw insights to help you maximize your business, multiply your wealth and make your family indestructible. Now let's create your edge. Welcome to the lion's edge. Quick setup for this episode today, just so you know what the heck Joe and I are even talking about as we just hit record and started rolling in. Essentially, Joe had an issue with his camera, whole wiring, all this kind of stuff. But just to give you that context of what the heck we're talking about as we just kind of jump in to this one, but we definitely jumped from there to hey, here's this goofy little problem that consumed Joe's world for a couple of days. But how are we all doing that with something in our business, maybe our personal life, that, wow, we're just so focused on this one thing that we can't think about anything else. Balls are getting dropped everywhere, and we're not solving this one thing because we're so way too close to it, way too frustrated, angry about it. So gonna zoom out from there, but just to give you some context there of what the heck we're talking about, all right, let's jump in. So

Joe Blackburn  2:09  
like, when you get really focused on something, you think there's a problem, and you're, like, trying to solve it. You're trying to solve it, and it's like one little thing that you're not paying attention to, like, the chord was in the wrong place. That was it two days of acne, figuring out every call Lauren's on maternity. I don't want to bug her, and, of course I did, but literally, like, you know, I'm chatting online with Elgato. This isn't working. This. They're sending me links. I'm reading them. It was nuts.

Jason Croft  2:44  
And then imagine you magnify that by your entire team focused on, oh yeah, the wrong,

Joe Blackburn  2:50  
oh yeah. I'm, I'm calling Susan's, wanting to come up here and look at it. And never, and

Jason Croft  2:56  
well, but I mean, I mean even taking, like, yeah, and then taking, taking that to business. You know, we're all trying

Joe Blackburn  3:04  
to solve the wrong problem. It was, like it wasn't even a problem. I just wasn't looking, literally, looking at that. I was looking at the computer in my screen, and it was one misplacement, you know, the power was in the wrong place, and the adapter was in, so, like, switched them done. But you get tunnel vision on what you're trying to do. And I think the other thing that came out of it was I just said, I'm not dealing with this right now. And then, all sudden, the next day, I look at him, like, that's not right. Like, just click, yeah. I'm like, and then I just went, beep, beep, boom.

Jason Croft  3:45  
It's nuts. Yeah, there's definitely power in that, stepping back and getting out of that, because we all know that feeling too, like we're just in it. And you just you,

Joe Blackburn  3:56  
well, I can't get out of that anger spiral correct your your brain goes into, you know, I'm totally pissed off that why? You know, this is ridiculous, and I get, like, so dialed into my emotion of being frustrated and irritated. I miss the little, tiny thing that was an easy fix. That's all it is. And, you know, it's interesting. We're, we're going into the in person at the end of this week, and it's going to be a cool and crisp 108. Heat index. I believe we have an outdoor event. I think our I think our receptions outdoors on a rooftop, so but you know what? They wanted, Missouri. They get Missouri. I love Missouri, but, you know, we're going into that. And part of it is, you know, we're working on mindset and some different things I call the wealth signal, like how and by the way, when you're pissed off, you're not sending it. But one of the things I really want to work on is, and it's in this interesting book called the Bible, slow to anger, I am light and fast to anger. You. And it's, it's probably my Achilles, and I like, if I just would have calmed down, relaxed, kind of looked around and like, oh, that doesn't look right. But instead, I'm, you know, firing off texts and emails and saying everyone's fired, even though I, you know,

Jason Croft  5:18  
there's nowhere to fire. It was no one around. It was

Joe Blackburn  5:21  
me, I mean, but I really want to work on, like a more calm, just like a, you know, take breath. I it's funny, you know, when you do some coaching, like I do, I do some you can tell everyone how to do things and works, and it makes sense, and then it's like, okay, maybe I should take three seconds or 10 seconds and relax, and it really, it wasn't even a big deal. It wasn't like I couldn't function. It just pissed me off to no end,

Jason Croft  5:50  
right? And to your point, though, that, like, certainly, while we're talking about it, that's the that's the exact idea, because that it that happens across organizations. It happens in big, massive decisions, trying to figure something out like, Oh, we've lost, you know, a customer segment. We've lost, whatever that may be. And how do we zoom out? How do we take a breath in the moment and as an organization, too, again, back to top down kind of stuff. Like, how do you step back and guide an entire organization to go, Hey, let's, let's all breathe for a second,

Joe Blackburn  6:33  
right? You know, I I look at questions to ask yourself, and it's like, sometimes I'll just stop for a second. Is this even real? Like, is this even Am I just created something that isn't even real? And lo and behold, I did, and now here I am, back up. Everything's working back in the flow, but it the cost to it, though, was my quick reaction. Like, just immediate. I was infuriated, I guess is the way I would describe that, over absolutely nothing. By the way, maybe that's I'm gonna, you know, I'm almost 50, almost you would think by this time I would learn that, right, like I would know, and I don't think I have. But that was a good that helped. I wrote it down. But, you know, do not get super angry. No, wait, not Oh, and do not argue. I put that in there too. Oh, nice, yeah, because I argued with everyone. I argued with I started arguing with people. I'm like, This isn't working. You're wrong, you know, like, I just kept making it worse. By the moment, and turn this little, tiny thing into, you know, nothing's gonna work now. So there you have it. I

Jason Croft  7:51  
don't know. I don't know if that's talked about enough to in the business segment of this idea, truly, of taking a step back. How do I get a better perspective than Hey, it's right in front of my face? How do we how do I step back from a situation, especially when, hey, the roof is on fire. If it's got to get put out, this has to get figured out. Sometimes, yeah, the roof isn't really on fire, but sometimes, you know you're in that moment and you're surrounded by people running around trying to solve that problem. How do you kind of justify stopping everything? And is that the solution?

Joe Blackburn  8:33  
Well, number one, I agree, like you got to take a step back. But the other one of the thoughts, I'm like, how many other times am I doing this? Like, what's the compounding effect of the sparks? And you talk about the roof on fire? Well, that starts with one, well, my and, like, I'm fueling the fire. You know, I'm huffing and puffing. I'm complaining on my zooms. It was just complete ignorance and but to the business point of it, it's like, if, if I, you know, fan the flames of little sparks, am I creating all the fires? Am I creating all my own fires? Probably yes, but, and then when a real one happens, now, we're overwhelmed, because I've, I've started all these other little fires. So it was an, it was an interesting I don't know. I didn't do it on purpose. So it's not like, I'm brilliant. I'm like, let me see how this works. No, I just did it. Made it worse, fixed it. Learned from it. And, you know, if I if and I do this in CO when someone comes to me, I'm like, take a step back. Take a breath. I start coaching sessions with take a deep breath. You know, in the end, it's all gonna be okay, like, you know, we have all the tools in place, but in the moment, it's, you know, it's difficult to pause and say, okay, is this really a problem? I had a temporary solution, so it really wasn't. I still could function. We didn't lose clients. We didn't lose money. Eight. We didn't lose, we didn't lose anything other than me losing sleep, you know, and calm. And I don't know if I lost sleep over it, but I was like, Why is this so hard? And why is it happening that, you know, you start getting into victim mode, like, I don't need this right now. I don't need this problem in my life right now. And it popped up so little life lesson problems coming. They're a parade. I just, you know, made it worse. So I don't know if that helps anybody, but I guess what I would say about it is, when you think something is a big deal, and you get in into state of where I was, it is good to just walk away from it for a minute. Do what you can, come back and it probably, you know, in my mind, I had seen it the right way, but in the state I was in, I couldn't see it. I had, I couldn't see the problem, the real one, and I just made a bigger one. So if you take yourself away from her for a minute, then I had this, literally, like, it's right here, by the way, my all this stuff, I literally looked there. I'm like, in my brain, it didn't like, that doesn't look right. And then I changed it. But in the state I was in, I just couldn't I was too I was too dialed into this is a huge problem.

Jason Croft  11:14  
I think it'd be good to kind of give us some examples. And you know, the business side of things, where that happens, where that comes up, but also the bigger picture, right? Like you have taken this as a lesson of, okay, I'm showing up like this a lot, and have a pattern, yeah? And instead of just do as I say, No, as I do. Hey, you you over there? Stop being angry, you know, how, how do you, I mean, I've got my own process, but how do you then take that and go, okay, there has to be a solution to this in that re, you know, to get out of that reactive state and actually respond. Right? We hear that a lot, and, and I think it's, it's reps after the you know, it's awareness, and then it's reps, and, oh yeah, that's right, oh yeah, that's right. And then keep coming back to it. And over time, like with a lot of personal development, it's then, okay, you, you respond a little less angry, little less angry. You You You breathe and accept that a little bit better, a little bit better. And over time, you're kind of a different person. Well,

Joe Blackburn  12:30  
I mean, we have a thing on stress where, you know, the fastest way out of it is 30 deep breaths, as deep as you can go. I didn't do that, by the way, just FYI. I think I stopped breathing and tried to muscle through it, you know? It's, it's funny, you brought that up. We're looking at something right now, and I'm it's real life. Sometimes trying too hard doesn't work,

Unknown Speaker  12:59  
you know? I don't know. It's

Joe Blackburn  13:03  
my kid. I don't know if people out there have kids, they play like Fortnite or whatever, and you hear them screaming at the try hard. It's the person that's trying to go in and kill everything and do and be the hero, and they get everyone else killed. So I'm also thinking of like it's not that you shouldn't take massive action. It's just trying so hard starts to work against you. Because people, you know, when you're a try hard, that's what people take away. You know, I It's, I had a guy who was that put in a, I can't remember, put in a post, like, I outwork everybody. No one will outwork me. And like this whole diatribe about being the hardest worker, and I'm like, Do you think that's a sign of super success that you you're out working everyone? I don't. I mean, I'm not judging here. I'm like, I'm like, is that what if I'm gonna be your partner or do business with you or whatever, is that the sign I'm looking for is you're I'm not. So it's weird. It's like, I don't want someone who's lazy, but if you're trying so hard to do something, I think people feel like they're like, you're it's the words, are the words, you're trying too hard. And, you know, even so, even back to the mechanics, what I was doing, the thing that's important that I needed to deliver was to the client that wasn't really impeded. I still had, I mean, I know people want to see me. So I got a camera, you know, I figured it out on my MacBook. So the actual thing that mattered got done, and the client got they they wanted. I needed to do what I needed to do. It was a problem that, in reality, wasn't even a problem. I just made it into a huge one. Yeah, and then I'm trying and trying, and I'm just, it's like, so I don't goes back to what I was saying. About, I I'm working on maybe a little more calm, not just in like forcing myself to be calm, but just a calm in church, I said, Hell, and then church, in the same sense, in church yesterday, we're talking about joy. You know, there's a big difference between happiness and joy. You know, happiness is momentary lapse of reality. I'm happy for a moment, but joy is I take joy in what I'm doing. So this is like, maybe I had my own life lesson in the last week, but try to be more calm, more joy, and when you translate that to work, if you can. So let's just if you want examples, if I can do what I need to do for to deliver or fulfill for a client, and do that over and over, maybe I shouldn't have to try so hard on everything else, because they're that's what is delivering. So I don't have to force everything I'm trying to do. Because if you've done it once, you can do it many times. And where there's one, there's many. So if you do that math, if I've delivered really well one time, then I just need to replicate that. Have the discipline to do it even when it's boring, which I don't what I do, thank God isn't. But some people have repetitious things in their their worlds, so, but the mechanics of it should take a lot of that try hard out of me. I know this works, and that's where I don't have to force it all the time, or force, you know, we talked, I think, a long time in Assassins about, like, chasing clients down and stuff. Now I'm still guilty of that at times. I go, you know, probably a little longer than I should, but if I'm trying so hard on everything, I think it just emits a like, you know, get out of this person's way, and it's not gonna go good. I mean, I even know, like, for example, sometimes when I go home, I try really hard to not be bothered, and then I create being bothered. Because I'm trying so hard to not be bothered, maybe I should just be calm and that. So it's a weird we live in this weird paradigm. We live in a weird paradigm. There you go. Nuances on that shirt, by the way, are amazing. I can't wait to get those out. Shout out to Gary. But do you see, do you understand? Am I making sense? I mean, I know I'm rambling, but I think if you focus on the discipline of the actual important thing, and not all the little things, you'll be more joyful, less stressed, because I get, I mean, I get in a wound, they say wound up. Someone once said to me, relax. Not sure I know how, but I'd like to a little bit so

Jason Croft  17:52  
did they? Did they tell you that in the middle of a angry stir really

Joe Blackburn  17:55  
helped? Yeah, it's always

Jason Croft  17:57  
helps, right? Relax. Can you just smile.

Joe Blackburn  18:01  
I Yeah, take a breath. So, but I think from the overarching business that can accumulate on you, and if that's your state of being, it's gonna work against you. And I'm, I'm living proof.

Jason Croft  18:16  
It's, it's hitting every thing that comes in front of you at 100 at, boom, oh, it has to get done. And anger and spark like, that's the difference. It's not to me. It's not about trying hard or not, or work ethic or out working. I mean, sure there's, there's too much of that. And I think if you're, I don't know, to me, if you're putting that in the post, basically, if you have to tell people how hard you work, maybe you're not working,

Joe Blackburn  18:46  
I tell people I don't work. This isn't work. This is all I do,

Jason Croft  18:50  
exactly. But I think it's, I think it's, it's that's not about not working hard, not putting your all into something. I think it's making sure you know where you're going at all times. With that working, what am I doing here? And and it's, it is, it's a life thing. It is a process thing to go, to stop in the moment and realize, okay, this is stupid. Like something's off

Joe Blackburn  19:21  
here. I might have thrown it. I said that out loud with an there may have been an expletive in front of

Jason Croft  19:27  
it. I can't tell you how many times the sentence going through my head is like, well, at least I finally got it. Like, the amount of things I'm

Joe Blackburn  19:37  
I am stealing that, well, at least I finally got there,

Jason Croft  19:41  
yeah, and I've just, and I've just had to accept it, the amount of things of I just look up and go, Why have I been doing this, like this for 30 years? That's, that's insane. Like all I have to do is this, oh, well, at least I got there. I guess.

Joe Blackburn  20:00  
Yes, I saw, I don't know if YouTube reads your mind these days. I think it, I think the AI reads your mind. It's a I saw a video. Act like nothing affects you. I'm like, Huh? I've heard that I should do that. Because why does, I mean, why does it even affect it? It's just like we create our own mess. I mean, we're human, I don't know, but I it was one of those things. Then I'm like, Am I doing this with everything? Am I doing it? You know, I look, I look for patterns. It's my my pattern probably is. Just get pissed off, kill it and move. And that doesn't always work, because then you have to go back. So what a wonderful lesson. I'm so glad I learned that one. It only took 50 years, and I'm sure I won't repeat it. So there, that's awesome. Yeah,

Jason Croft  20:55  
I think that's but I do think that's this is important to look out for, and look out in these things. And that's the other thing too is, like, you brought up, like the little sparks. I think that's the thing too, to realize, okay, this tiny little thing you're making into this, and that's the other thing. We sense that if we take a breath and we take a second, we can feel that. Now very often we ignore that feeling, and we just keep going like, yeah, yeah, but it is such a small thing. I can just get this knocked I can just get this figured. I can just get this and while the building is crumbling around around you, then you've I got it, you know. And

Joe Blackburn  21:36  
I do have 30 people coming to an end in person at the end of the week, and the person who runs this whole thing is not gonna be present. I could have been thinking about that, but I was really pissed off that my camera didn't work right. That was really pissed so very good point. Jason, yes, there probably are other more important things to work on than the little things that really wasn't even a problem. It was just irritation, frustration and anger. All signs of maturity in business. All signs of maturity business.

Jason Croft  22:10  
That's right. All right. Hope that helps, help somebody

Unknown Speaker  22:17  
look out, yeah. All right, that's all

Jason Croft  22:19  
thanks for sharing your pain. All right, you've just experienced the lion's edge. If this episode lit a fire, if you're ready to push past your current ceiling, there's more waiting for you. Want to see what it takes to become a member of the Lion, visit jointhelion.com to discover how successful entrepreneurs become unstoppable forces, and make sure you never miss an episode by hitting subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. This isn't just content. This is your edge.

Speaker 1  22:56  
This show is powered by media leads tired of being overlooked in your industry. Learn how market gravity can transform you into the leader everyone's talking about by going to media leads, co.com you.